Again I want to thank folks for their encouraging words. As I've mentioned before, I struggle with a lot of self doubt. So there is a level of exposure in keeping this blog and sharing this silly idea of a project with you. I'm so glad I did.
And I apologize gentle readers for my recent absence, I've been a little busy doing one of two things:
1. Baking large quantities of oatmeal cranberry pecan cookies.
2. Spending time with people I rarely get to see who absolutely fill my heart with joy.
Who are these people? Well, let me indulge myself with some gushing:
Kevin M. - This is a strange one because we literally live down the block from each other (o.k. 10 blocks down the same block) but we RARELY see each other. This is also strange because this is someone who was literally attached to my hip during a very crucial time in my life. I love this guy deep in my gut and every conversation I have with him is always really, really amazing. He's also one of the most fun people I know. If you want to go on an adventure, you should call up Kevin because he'll probably be game.
Tante Erna - Ziggy's Aunt who was here from Germany. Possibly the cutest Aunt alive. ("Tante" means Aunt in German.) She's 78 and Sturdy and ADORABLE. She's kind of like a German Julia Child's and has this really adorable way of saying "Hullooo". I got to spend the whole day with her today and I had to constantly resist to urge to nuzzle her.
Ambryn - Oh god. I love ambryn and her fancy hats. The nice thing about Ambryn is that she's always up for a dance break and I can nuzzle her anytime I want.
Kevin and I really have no excuse for not hanging out more (except that life often gets in the way of our best intentions). However, the two women live so far away and that makes me sad. Seeing them is like a little nugget of joy in my mouth. So, I guess it's bittersweet. While an everyday kind of relationship with them would be grand, their distance makes time with them all the more poignant.
I have more to say and I shall.
Today Ambryn, Mae, Meggan and I did some carousing. We started at the Sovereign (which is hands down my favorite bar in edgewater) and ended up at a party. This party made each of us feel incredibly old. Incredibly Old, in a GOOD way. The one lovely boy I spoke to at this party asked me what I felt has changed now that I am 30. I said that I'm so much better at life. I like what I like. I know what I don't like. I'm finally too cool to worry about being cool. (Which explains the mass amounts of ridiculous dancing at the bar earlier this evening.) I like this. I REALLY like this.
However there is a flip side......I'm no longer careless. Life has shown me its consequences and there is danger lurking around every corner.
For example, I've never had a lot of fear surrounding late nite walking home from my illicit urban adventures. However, as I parted ways with my friends and began my short 3 block walk home. I was more than wary. Wary enough to feel slightly fearful. Too many bad things have happened to people I know. The days of innocence are definitely gone.....which is probably for the best.
Ultimately, I DO like the views from this decade, am willing to take the lessons learned and am constantly grateful for the people who are still traveling this journey with me.
Yes, indeed.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
These I Like....
I'm kind of in love with these "A" words. Some of the meanings are fun but most are on this list purely because I love to say them:
Allium
Ascerbic
Astringent
Anenome (I always stumble over this one. The stumbling is fun too.)
Assertive
Awesome!
Allium
Ascerbic
Astringent
Anenome (I always stumble over this one. The stumbling is fun too.)
Assertive
Awesome!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Meanderings
After the last post wherein I confirm my commitment to all things project and blog related, I fell off the wagon.
Kinda.
This morning I have been listening to a lot (and I mean A LOT) of country music. Mae, knowing my love of old country music, asked me to participate in a Honky Tonk Burlesque show on the 16th. I fretted when I got the text. I haven't been performing at all. In fact, I haven't performed since the spring. (But, that's a story for another time.) What about the Blues? October is the Blues! However, she was in kind of a bind and this was a small scale show. Ultimately, it's a good idea to get my feet wet again and an even better idea to help out a friend.
SO, I'm doing it and that means I need to pick a song.
Now, I don't know about your artistic process but when I'm working on something I need to do a survey. I rarely have that moment when I know exactly what medium, canvas, costume or song I should use. So, I had to listen to all my old country music (I have a quite a bit.) to find the perfect song. Once the song is finally chosen, I'll have to listen to it over and over and over again. I'll have to become so familiar with it's like a favorite pair of shoes. I'll need to picture the choreography and then I'll need to practice that choreography. Over and Over and Over again. It's not easy to make taking that bra off look easy! ;)
So, where does this leave the Blues?
Well, I DID say in my original "manifesto" that the art medium for the month is subject to outside commission or performance. Maybe that can be applied to the music in this situation? I will get paid some money to do this show. I could really use the money. Once the song is chosen, it'll really only be ONE country music song I'm listening to. As long as I spend the rest of my time listening to the Blues, I think it'll be o.k.
Like right now, as I type this I'm listening to Buddy Guy and Junior Wells JAM a song entitled "A Man of Many Words".
I can relate.
In other news Blues related, I've re-discovered a band I used to love. A hundred years ago, I went to see a show at Martyr's with a friend of mine. That band was called Mofro. I LOVED this band. They had this neat old-timey silver rectangular microphone hanging from the ceiling. They were all these self-proclaimed "cracker red-neck" guys in flannels playing this incredible blues music. So, I pulled out this old cd and have reclaimed them.
Here's a you tube video of them. It's not a good one and it's missing that amazing microphone but the video is from 2001. That's right around the same time I saw them:
In other, other news, finding time to exercise even 20 mins everyday can be challenging at times. I've been sticking to it though. I have to say, I kinda really like it. Today I went for a lovely bike ride with Meggan. We rode along Glenwood for a stretch. It was a perfect autumn moment. The air was crisp but the sun was shining (and so was my bright yellow t-shirt!). The crackle of leaves under our wheels. Halloween decorations in my crate. Talking about life and ideas and halloween costume plans.
In a little while I'll get back on my bike and head to dance class. Afterwards, I'll head to the Laundromat with Mae and Meggan. (I kinda love the laundromat).
Today is a good day.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Not the Every Day Kind of Girl
I haven't decided yet if this is going to be an every day kind of blog. I have a lot of things to say. I like having a place to say them. I like that maybe 1 or 2 people might read it. However, I'm not an every day kind of girl. I never have been. In fact, one of the hardest aspects of motherhood for me is the everydayness of it. There is NO ONE, not one person, that I want to hang out with EVERY DAY. I go through little stints of intense "falling in love" with people. We hang out alot, we go on little adventures, work up to some secret telling and then when we are close....REALLY close.....I just add you to the rotation of folks I like to hang out with. I don't know if you noticed, I have some pretty amazing people in my life......and though I don't like to hang out with them every day, everytime I see them I'm filled with joy. Isn't that magical?
The baby, the husband and the Meggan (Mae by proxy since she's so darn busy) are the most everyday people in my life. In truth, I don't even hang out with THEM every day!
For example, The baby was at my mother's last night and is headed to The Husband's mom this morning. Max LOVES this. The Grandmas LOVE this (In fact, if too much time goes by they start calling US asking for him!). I also really like this. I think it makes me a better Mother to have some time to still be myself (and not just a mom).
And when he goes? The place falls apart.
You see, with a Toddler we maintain a pretty busy schedule. Three Meals a Day have to happen. Bedtime and Bathtime has to happen. Outside Play should happen if we'd like to maintain our sanity. Dishes and Swept Floors and Clean Baththubs are a constant necessity. No matter how we are feeling on a given day.....No matter how much we'd like to puke or crawl into bed or cry or lay on the couch watching the last 3 episodes of Top Chef, these things have to happen. So when Max is gone, no dishes happen. No Meals happen. We spend most of our time out and about and eating out of containers. If we aren't out? We are likely sleeping. In short, we revert back to our single days and it feels pretty delicious.
The Husband has decided not to work on the project when Max is not home. I think he see this as more of an "educating Max" thing than an "we're doing this crazy art thing that might teach the baby something" thing. Obviously, I'm more in line with the latter and so I am going to continue to participate even when the kid isn't here. In fact, I think it's a great time to work on stuff for this project that has nothing to do with him.
For example, this morning I spent some time playing the blues on the piano and I learned that there is actually a formula for the Blues. In fact, you can plug this formula into ANY key and you got the Blues! (Just in case you need to know its 12 measures of the following: 4 Measures of the I chord, 2 Measures of the IV Chord, 2 Measures of the I Chord, 1 Measure of the V7 Chord , 1 Measure of the IV Chord, 2 Measures of the I Chord).
OR
Last night, while I was out at the bar with some friends I got a little warm and took off my bright yellow sweater. I looked down and I realized I was now wearing NO yellow (gasp!). This was a problem and I luckily had an overnight bag with me so I could grab another yellow clothing item. (No, I do not carry a bag filled with yellow clothes everywhere I go.) Someone said, "You know, you created these limitations. You don't HAVE to wear yellow." I said, "Yup, I know I created this. And yes I do."
So, I guess I'm committed. I guess This project and This Blog and I are in our intense "falling in love" phase. We want to hang out every day. We want to go on adventures. I think that pretty soon this project is going to tell me a big secret. Maybe I tell the blog a few of my own.
The Baby and The Husband have taught me that I can be a MOSTLY every day kind of person when I am in love and committed. I'm pretty in love and commited to this project and to this Blog. In some ways, it's becoming quite the little lifeline.
So, maybe life will keep showing me that I CAN be an every day kind of girl.
I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.
The baby, the husband and the Meggan (Mae by proxy since she's so darn busy) are the most everyday people in my life. In truth, I don't even hang out with THEM every day!
For example, The baby was at my mother's last night and is headed to The Husband's mom this morning. Max LOVES this. The Grandmas LOVE this (In fact, if too much time goes by they start calling US asking for him!). I also really like this. I think it makes me a better Mother to have some time to still be myself (and not just a mom).
And when he goes? The place falls apart.
You see, with a Toddler we maintain a pretty busy schedule. Three Meals a Day have to happen. Bedtime and Bathtime has to happen. Outside Play should happen if we'd like to maintain our sanity. Dishes and Swept Floors and Clean Baththubs are a constant necessity. No matter how we are feeling on a given day.....No matter how much we'd like to puke or crawl into bed or cry or lay on the couch watching the last 3 episodes of Top Chef, these things have to happen. So when Max is gone, no dishes happen. No Meals happen. We spend most of our time out and about and eating out of containers. If we aren't out? We are likely sleeping. In short, we revert back to our single days and it feels pretty delicious.
The Husband has decided not to work on the project when Max is not home. I think he see this as more of an "educating Max" thing than an "we're doing this crazy art thing that might teach the baby something" thing. Obviously, I'm more in line with the latter and so I am going to continue to participate even when the kid isn't here. In fact, I think it's a great time to work on stuff for this project that has nothing to do with him.
For example, this morning I spent some time playing the blues on the piano and I learned that there is actually a formula for the Blues. In fact, you can plug this formula into ANY key and you got the Blues! (Just in case you need to know its 12 measures of the following: 4 Measures of the I chord, 2 Measures of the IV Chord, 2 Measures of the I Chord, 1 Measure of the V7 Chord , 1 Measure of the IV Chord, 2 Measures of the I Chord).
OR
Last night, while I was out at the bar with some friends I got a little warm and took off my bright yellow sweater. I looked down and I realized I was now wearing NO yellow (gasp!). This was a problem and I luckily had an overnight bag with me so I could grab another yellow clothing item. (No, I do not carry a bag filled with yellow clothes everywhere I go.) Someone said, "You know, you created these limitations. You don't HAVE to wear yellow." I said, "Yup, I know I created this. And yes I do."
So, I guess I'm committed. I guess This project and This Blog and I are in our intense "falling in love" phase. We want to hang out every day. We want to go on adventures. I think that pretty soon this project is going to tell me a big secret. Maybe I tell the blog a few of my own.
The Baby and The Husband have taught me that I can be a MOSTLY every day kind of person when I am in love and committed. I'm pretty in love and commited to this project and to this Blog. In some ways, it's becoming quite the little lifeline.
So, maybe life will keep showing me that I CAN be an every day kind of girl.
I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.
Friday, October 2, 2009
In Moderation....
The project continued to happen today. The project also was not the focus of today. I think both things are good things. I like that the plan is working. The project will continue to live as we continue to go about our lives.
Two things of note:
It's impossible to be inconspicuous in bright yellow. I keep catching people's eye. This is great if I want some attention, This is bad if I am interested in espionage.
I think I need to research more women in Blues. I've always thought Bonnie Raitt played country music but apparently she also plays the Blues. Today she taught me that I "shouldn't go 'round advertisin' my man". I think this means that if I talk to highly of him, another woman might snap him up.
Well, I'd like to see them TRY!
Two things of note:
It's impossible to be inconspicuous in bright yellow. I keep catching people's eye. This is great if I want some attention, This is bad if I am interested in espionage.
I think I need to research more women in Blues. I've always thought Bonnie Raitt played country music but apparently she also plays the Blues. Today she taught me that I "shouldn't go 'round advertisin' my man". I think this means that if I talk to highly of him, another woman might snap him up.
Well, I'd like to see them TRY!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
There's No Turning Back Now!
October is:
Number: 1
Letters: ABC
Color: Yellow
Shape: Triangle
Musical Genre: The Blues
Medium: Crayons
Location: The Field Museum
New Habit: Exercising Every Day for 20 Mins.
I have so much to say already. As with any new project the first efforts and the first days take a little more work and some ironing out.
The absolute first thing I DO want to say is....THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all those who have offered words of encouragement and advice. It's helpful to have different eyes on this project because folks who don't live in my head often see things differently than I do. I'm so glad you are there to be my witnesses. It absolutely DOES make me feel more accountable!
You've also brought up a few good points. So, I'm setting a few more parameters:
Outer Jackets/Sweaters/Coats and Shoes do NOT have to correspond with the month's particular color. This would be far too costly to maintain. Although, I will make some good efforts at trying to at least show some color in my outerwear (ie: Max and I already have some pretty spiffy Yellow knit hats!) The same goes for pants (ie: jeans). This works under the original plan since I mention that only one major clothing item needs to be yellow. Not all. Although I'm definitely subscribing to the "More is More" way of thinking for this project.
Also, some Music listening issues came up. If I am in a bar and someone plays Madonna will I go running out of the bar covering my ears? No. If we are at someone's house and they play Bon Iver while we are cooking, do I have to tell them to change it? No. However, will I go to a Madonna concert in December when we are supposed to be listening to Folk music? Not unless that's the day I choose as my ONE Free Day that month.
Also, there are some issues with my continued practice on the piano. You see, I play the piano most every day. For those of you who don't know, I played the piano while I was growing up. When we moved into this apartment last year, our sunroom came with a lovely old baby grand piano. I've been re-teaching myself how to play. Am I advancing quickly? Yes. Re-Learning an old skill is easier than the first time. Can I pick up just anything and play it? Not. Really. I can read music but don't really have the skill to master harder pieces. I am definitely no where near being able to describe myself as "good". Mostly, I've just been working my way through a series of books. I'm halfway through the intermediate book and have been taking it one lesson/song at a time. Do I know some Blues songs? Yes. A few. However, I want to continue to get better at the piano and therefore since I'm "playing" the music and not just "listening" to it.....I'm going to say that it's o.k. This project is about moving forward and erasing those stagnate feelings. I don't want my musical practice to start gathering dust. Now, will I make an effort to play those blues songs I know or maybe learn a new one? YES!
Now that we've gotten those few nuances out of the way. Can I tell you about my project's first baby steps this morning?
All morning we listened to the Blues and I think our kitchen dance session was very bluesy. I took ALL other music out of my ipod so I will absolutely NOT be tempted and ONLY put blues music in. Some initial research pointed me to Buddy Guy, Stevie Ray Vaughn and Otis Rush. I dig Otis Rush who apparently has a distinct style that is reflective of the West Side of Chicago. I think Stevie Ray Vaughn is a show off (but I DO like what he did with "Mary Had a Little Lamb"). I was already pretty familiar with Buddy Guy and I still think he's pretty alright. I'm going do some more research but if YOU are familiar with the blues or you have a blues artist that you dig, please point them my way!
(Last night at exactly 11PM I put on my headphones and listened to the songs in my life that I just can't get enough of. I needed to stay goodbye....since I won't be listening to them for awhile. In fact, can you do me a favor? Can you You Tube these two and listen to them for me? Bon Iver - Re: Stacks and Thao and the Get Down Stay Down - Bag of Hammers (you'll need to get up and dance for this one.) Tell them I say hello. Thanks.)
Now for the Yellow.....
It's no secret that Yellow is one of my usual favorite colors. (I say usual because my favorite color changes from day to day but Yellow is a popular choice for me.) Needless to say, I was excited that this was the first color for my project. And so today we wore yellow. I wore my favorite yellow dress and a brown and yellow scarf. If you've spent some time with me, you've probably seen the dress. It's a bright golden rod yellow. You can't miss it. Max wore a standard canary yellow t-shirt and a bright golden rod sweatshirt. Ziggy even gamely wore a pale yellow button down. You couldn't miss us and on this gray day I will even venture to romantically say that we were like little yellow rays of sunshine. Everything was so dreary and little Max in his bright yellow definitely stood out. I also noticed people looking at me constantly. I payed attention to what others were wearing and we were definitely the ONLY ONES in Yellow. Why don't people wear more yellow? Ziggy thought that maybe folks thought we were tourists. Whatever.....maybe we are tourists in LIFE!
Also, I was excited and happy to notice the Yellow around us. You can't help but notice Yellow things because they always stand out from the rest of the world. I took some pictures and I need to learn how to post pictures here. (Hey, Does anyone know how to post pictures on a blog? HELP!) We ate Cuban food for lunch from my favorite little cuban market/restaurant. The plantains were a fried a dark brown/black color on the outside but inside were a lovely lush and creamy yellow.
Clearly, this yellow stuff is making me pretty happy.
When I'm done with this entry, I'm going to go get some butcher paper out and make a big "sign" that displays what we are doing this month. I'm going to hang it in the dining room. Jack also suggested a cork board to not only post this month's color, letter, etc but also hang any pictures or findings or whatever tidbits our month brings us. This is a good idea. Meggan suggested last night that we should make the letters, shape and number out of the month's medium. This is another great idea and I will put these in Max's room.
I'm also excited and nervous about this month's new habit. Exercising for 20 mins a day is a commitment. I've been trying to start a healthy living exercise plan for awhile now, so I'm really glad that this New Habit is happening right away. It's just 20 mins right? I can find 20 mins in my day for exercise right? That nagging little voice of self-doubt is whispering some negativity to me right now. I'm just going to choose not to listen.
In fact, maybe that's the thing I'll do first when I get up from this chair. I think my yellow Popeye t-shirt would look great while working out.
Number: 1
Letters: ABC
Color: Yellow
Shape: Triangle
Musical Genre: The Blues
Medium: Crayons
Location: The Field Museum
New Habit: Exercising Every Day for 20 Mins.
I have so much to say already. As with any new project the first efforts and the first days take a little more work and some ironing out.
The absolute first thing I DO want to say is....THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all those who have offered words of encouragement and advice. It's helpful to have different eyes on this project because folks who don't live in my head often see things differently than I do. I'm so glad you are there to be my witnesses. It absolutely DOES make me feel more accountable!
You've also brought up a few good points. So, I'm setting a few more parameters:
Outer Jackets/Sweaters/Coats and Shoes do NOT have to correspond with the month's particular color. This would be far too costly to maintain. Although, I will make some good efforts at trying to at least show some color in my outerwear (ie: Max and I already have some pretty spiffy Yellow knit hats!) The same goes for pants (ie: jeans). This works under the original plan since I mention that only one major clothing item needs to be yellow. Not all. Although I'm definitely subscribing to the "More is More" way of thinking for this project.
Also, some Music listening issues came up. If I am in a bar and someone plays Madonna will I go running out of the bar covering my ears? No. If we are at someone's house and they play Bon Iver while we are cooking, do I have to tell them to change it? No. However, will I go to a Madonna concert in December when we are supposed to be listening to Folk music? Not unless that's the day I choose as my ONE Free Day that month.
Also, there are some issues with my continued practice on the piano. You see, I play the piano most every day. For those of you who don't know, I played the piano while I was growing up. When we moved into this apartment last year, our sunroom came with a lovely old baby grand piano. I've been re-teaching myself how to play. Am I advancing quickly? Yes. Re-Learning an old skill is easier than the first time. Can I pick up just anything and play it? Not. Really. I can read music but don't really have the skill to master harder pieces. I am definitely no where near being able to describe myself as "good". Mostly, I've just been working my way through a series of books. I'm halfway through the intermediate book and have been taking it one lesson/song at a time. Do I know some Blues songs? Yes. A few. However, I want to continue to get better at the piano and therefore since I'm "playing" the music and not just "listening" to it.....I'm going to say that it's o.k. This project is about moving forward and erasing those stagnate feelings. I don't want my musical practice to start gathering dust. Now, will I make an effort to play those blues songs I know or maybe learn a new one? YES!
Now that we've gotten those few nuances out of the way. Can I tell you about my project's first baby steps this morning?
All morning we listened to the Blues and I think our kitchen dance session was very bluesy. I took ALL other music out of my ipod so I will absolutely NOT be tempted and ONLY put blues music in. Some initial research pointed me to Buddy Guy, Stevie Ray Vaughn and Otis Rush. I dig Otis Rush who apparently has a distinct style that is reflective of the West Side of Chicago. I think Stevie Ray Vaughn is a show off (but I DO like what he did with "Mary Had a Little Lamb"). I was already pretty familiar with Buddy Guy and I still think he's pretty alright. I'm going do some more research but if YOU are familiar with the blues or you have a blues artist that you dig, please point them my way!
(Last night at exactly 11PM I put on my headphones and listened to the songs in my life that I just can't get enough of. I needed to stay goodbye....since I won't be listening to them for awhile. In fact, can you do me a favor? Can you You Tube these two and listen to them for me? Bon Iver - Re: Stacks and Thao and the Get Down Stay Down - Bag of Hammers (you'll need to get up and dance for this one.) Tell them I say hello. Thanks.)
Now for the Yellow.....
It's no secret that Yellow is one of my usual favorite colors. (I say usual because my favorite color changes from day to day but Yellow is a popular choice for me.) Needless to say, I was excited that this was the first color for my project. And so today we wore yellow. I wore my favorite yellow dress and a brown and yellow scarf. If you've spent some time with me, you've probably seen the dress. It's a bright golden rod yellow. You can't miss it. Max wore a standard canary yellow t-shirt and a bright golden rod sweatshirt. Ziggy even gamely wore a pale yellow button down. You couldn't miss us and on this gray day I will even venture to romantically say that we were like little yellow rays of sunshine. Everything was so dreary and little Max in his bright yellow definitely stood out. I also noticed people looking at me constantly. I payed attention to what others were wearing and we were definitely the ONLY ONES in Yellow. Why don't people wear more yellow? Ziggy thought that maybe folks thought we were tourists. Whatever.....maybe we are tourists in LIFE!
Also, I was excited and happy to notice the Yellow around us. You can't help but notice Yellow things because they always stand out from the rest of the world. I took some pictures and I need to learn how to post pictures here. (Hey, Does anyone know how to post pictures on a blog? HELP!) We ate Cuban food for lunch from my favorite little cuban market/restaurant. The plantains were a fried a dark brown/black color on the outside but inside were a lovely lush and creamy yellow.
Clearly, this yellow stuff is making me pretty happy.
When I'm done with this entry, I'm going to go get some butcher paper out and make a big "sign" that displays what we are doing this month. I'm going to hang it in the dining room. Jack also suggested a cork board to not only post this month's color, letter, etc but also hang any pictures or findings or whatever tidbits our month brings us. This is a good idea. Meggan suggested last night that we should make the letters, shape and number out of the month's medium. This is another great idea and I will put these in Max's room.
I'm also excited and nervous about this month's new habit. Exercising for 20 mins a day is a commitment. I've been trying to start a healthy living exercise plan for awhile now, so I'm really glad that this New Habit is happening right away. It's just 20 mins right? I can find 20 mins in my day for exercise right? That nagging little voice of self-doubt is whispering some negativity to me right now. I'm just going to choose not to listen.
In fact, maybe that's the thing I'll do first when I get up from this chair. I think my yellow Popeye t-shirt would look great while working out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
